MacGyver Beyblade Edition
by Inyoface
Summary: Tyson MacGyver is the hottest, coolest, smartest Hawaiian-Shirt wearing action hero around. He possesses the amazing ability to build a bomb using only Swiss Cheese. And he's sent on a mission: Rescue teen Kai Hiwatari from 'the Gang that doesn't shower!


**Hello folks!**

**I think this is the most random fanfic I've ever written but at the moment I'm totally addicted to the TV show 'MacGyver'. So I had a strange urge to write a Beyblade/ MacGyver crossover. Sorry if it's bad, I'm not very good at humour.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade and I don't own MacGyver either.**

**Warning: Parody. Bad attempt at humour. Incredibly hard-core action scenes (NOT).**

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He was _the _man. Tyson MacGyver. The extremely smexy ladies man who possessed the incredible intelligence and creativity to build a bomb out of as little as a pack of Swiss cheese. Plus he was also extremely hot! So hot that he could fry eggs on his intensely muscular and manly torso. He was so cool and handsome and amazing, if he were to be in a fanfic, everyone would flame him as a Gary Sue!

On one fortunate day Tyson MacGyver received a worried phone call from the inhumanly rich and intimidating Russian Billionaire, Mr Voltaire Hiwatari. And yes he was intimidating, to everyone that is, apart from Tyson MacGyver.

'Privyet, this is Voltaire Voltaireyevich Hiwatari. I am calling because I have heard you are _the _man.'

And _the_ man Tyson MacGyver sure was. So with the money from his bottomless bank account (**A/N: seriously, where does MacGyver get all the money for travelling from**) he booked himself a flight and guess what! He got on it! Upon arrival in Russia he, of course, didn't need to show Visa papers, unlike everyone else entering the country as the Government of Russia, of course, dropped its strict Visa regulations for a man as amazing as Tyson MacGyver.

Outside of the Airport stood a strikingly beautiful, single woman with an absolutely perfect personality, eighties hair and shoulder pads. Her name was Hilary Tachibana and she was honoured with the honour of holding up a sign that read 'MacGyver'.

'So your name is MacGyver, what a coincidence lady, it happens to be mine as well!' Tyson MacGyver mocked, and then laughed out loud at his absolutely hilarious joke. (**A/N: actual MacGyver scene**)

'You are MacGyver? Oh wow, I had expected a more uptight person, like all those KGB guys that Lord Voltaire usually hires.' the stunned lady exclaimed while staring at Tyson MacGyver's massive biceps under his pink Hawaiian shirt. The she reached out her petite hand and told him:

'Privyet, I am Hilary, your chauffeur.'

Tyson MacGyver kissed her hand in a charming manner.

'Privyet Miss Hilary.

In that moment Hilary almost fainted as this was the happiest, most aspiring moment of her life. She had been kissed by _the_ man.

Tyson MacGyver entered the guarded office of Lord Voltaire. Of course Hilary was allowed to accompany him to hear about the top secret assignment, even though she only was a low rank chauffeur and there was actually more a hazard to her presence than a profit.

'Mr Tyson MacGyver, this is a top secret mission.' Lord Voltaire expressed.

Hilary was still allowed to stay.

'Whatever it is, I am your man.' Tyson MacGyver assured him.

'Yes, I've read an article about you in '_Old Babushka's Cooking and Gardening Magazine'_ and ever since, I've been convinced you are the man for this job. In fact, this assignment is not a normal assignment, like espionage, or an assassination. This one is dear to my heart! I have a grandson, his name is Kai and he is in the rebellious phase right now, you know, the phase when they refuse to shower for a week. Anyways, he felt that the showers at the mansion were tempting him too much, so he ran off to join some gang in the streets. I want you to bring him home Mr Tyson MacGyver.'

Tyson MacGyver made a bow. 'To me, your wish is an order!'

'Actually that was an order, not a wish!' Voltaire reminded him.

'In that case, to me, your order is an order!'

Voltaire broke out into an evil laugh and started acting like the perfect Russian stereotype by pouring himself a glass of Vodka and dancing Polka.

'Oh and before I forget, I am going to assign this incapable chauffeur as your assistant, completely ignoring how important the success of this assignment is to me.' Voltaire quickly added, before he danced out of the room.

'MacGyver, what should we do? how are we going to find Kai?' Hilary cried.

Tyson MacGyver patted her head in a superior manner. 'Don't worry, my dear. I'm going to come up with something.'

Hilary threw herself into Tyson's arm. 'Oh MacGyver, you make me feel so safe.'

Then the stunningly hot male started his thinking process:

_I was in a real pickle that time. Moscow was enormous. How was I supposed to find Kai Hiwatari. Then it occurred__, to me to start thinking like he would. I put myself into the role of a rebellious teenager who refused to shower. And where would a rebellious teenager go to find refuge: a train station! And not just any train station. Kai Hiwatari was used to getting the biggest and the best. So he would choose the largest train station. But to find out which one of the nine train stations in Moscow was the largest one, I really need to strain my brain. And then I found a way to resolve that obstacle, using only a power plug, a computer and a mouse. _

'What are you doing?' Hilary asked Tyson MacGyver as she watched him plug the cable of the computer into the power point.

'I am going to use the internet to find out which train station is the largest one.'

However, he encountered another obstacle. He didn't know the password to Voltaire's user account.

'Oh no, we're doomed!' Hilary shrieked.

But Tyson MacGyver didn't just give up that easily. He was _the_ man after all. So after a lot of hard thinking, he found a solution.

'The guest account, we'll just use the guest account!'

And so they did!

And the answer was Paveletsky station. In fact, it wasn't actually the biggest train station in Moscow, in fact Kazansky owned that title, but the script writers were to lazy to do the research so they left it at Paveletsky because it sounded foreign and cool. Hence, Tyson MacGyver and Hilary took a cab in the direction of Paveletsky station, completely ignoring the fact that Hilary was actually a chauffeur and had a brand new Mercedes in her possession. Paveletsky Station was a dark and ominous place, with many shady characters such as drug dealers, hobos and 'Justin Bieber'-fan girls assembled.

'This looks like the place, but how do we find Kai Hiwatari?' Hilary asked in a worried tone. Tyson put an arm around her in a caring manner and then spoke softly: 'Don't panic dear, you are safe with me. I am _the_ man, I will find a way.'

Then his brain went overdrive again:

_I needed to find a way to track down Kai Hiwatari. Mine and Hilary's faith depended on it. And then I got a brilliant idea. Using your usual household objects: a hair pin, a red lipstick and my plane ticket home, I would build and irresistible object to bribe someone with._

Hilary watched with curiosity as Tyson straightened out the hair pin, folded the paper and drew red flowers on it.

'Why were you carrying a lipstick and a hairclip?' she asked.

'That's what every eighties man carries, duh!'

As soon as he had finished crafting his irresistible object he went up to a random emo kid.

'Tell me where Kai Hiwatari is and you receive this windmill as reward.'

'That's not a windmill, that's a piece of paper junk held together by a hair pin.' the kid replied.

'It's not! There's a number of different uses for it. You can look at it. You can use it to play roulette, and you can eat it!'

The kid surrendered under the powerful influence of Tyson MacGyver. 'Okay, I'll tell you, but only because I feel sorry for you and your pathetic invention. Kai and his Gang have taken over the McDonalds at platform 8. That's where you'll find him!'

'Oh MacGyver, you're just amazing!' Hilary squeaked. And what was even more sad: she actually meant it!

So arm in arm her and Tyson walked over to the McDonalds at platform 8. The McDonalds at platform 8 looked just like a normal McDonalds, only that it was filled with random rebels drinking Vodka and dancing Polka. But Tyson MacGyver was a very impressive man. No, actually, he was _the_ man. So he placed himself in the doorway with his arms crossed, a determined facial expression and his pink Hawaiian shirt waving in the wind (yes, there was wind! Even though it was a closed building, there was wind!).

Suddenly the music stopped and everyone stared at him.

'Who are you?' someone asked.

'I am Tyson MacGyver.'

'Wooooooooooooooow!'

'Who of you is Kai Hiwatari?' Tyson asked.

'That's me.' the pimpiest of the teens replied, as he raised himself and initiated a staring contest with Tyson MacGyver.

'Your Grandfather sent me. Come home with me.'

'No thanks.'

'Come home, _please_!'

Kai shook his head. 'Nuh, I don't really feel like it. Grandpa is a bit of an old hag who stinks of shit and keeps on watching '_American_ _Idol' _all the time. Like honestly, who watches '_American_ _Idol' _anymore? That's _sooo_ 10 minutes ago!'

MacGyver shook his head in disappointment. 'Well, Kai, I don't want to do this. But you leave me no other choice. Hilary, bring in the secret weapon!'

Hilary came in running and handed him a cone of chocolate ice cream. Then Tyson MacGyver opened his mouth and bit into it.

'Ahhh, don't do it! You masochist! Don't you realize that it hurts when your teeth come in contact with something hot or cold!' a random rebellious teenager screamed in shock.

'Stop it! Please, you've already proven that you're tough.' another rebellious teenager yelled.

But Tyson's facial expression remained cool, he didn't cry out in pain. He finished the entire ice cream without whimpering.

'So young Kai, will you come with me now?'

Kai shrugged. 'Whatever.'

Tyson MacGyver flashed a victory sign and Hilary threw himself on him. 'Oh MacGyver, you are my hero.' then she kissed him on the lips, being the randy little slut that she was.

Everything seemed nice and happy from now on. But an episode (chapter) of 'MacGyver –Beyblade Edition' cannot end without an explosion. And this compulsory explosion was yet to come:

Tyson MacGyver, his newest girlfriend Hilary and the 'good boy gone bad' Kai arrived back home at the mansion. And there they were greeted with another obstacle: The entrance door to the mansion was locked and they didn't have the key.

'What do we do now?' Hilary cried.

Tyson MacGyver thought hard on that matter:

_It was the last obstacle standing in between me and a shitload of cash. For the sake of Hilary, Kai and, most importantly, __**me**__, I hade to make this work. I knew there was only one solution: blowing up the door. In that very moment I remembered a lesson by my Elementary School Biology teacher Dr Stanislav Vychikovsky. He had build a potato clock using a potato and electrodes. _

Tyson MacGyver took out a piece of Swiss Cheese that he was randomly carrying in his pocket for no apparent reason. Then he used another hairpin to screw open the doorbell mechanism and removed a copper wire and a zinc electrode from it. But one important thing was missing. He looked at Kai.

'Hey, you're still a kid. Do you happen to carry Playdoh?'

Kai smirked. 'Of course I do!'

Tyson MacGyver then glued the Playdoh onto the keyhole and attached the Cheese Clock.

'Okay now I need to short circuit the Cheese Clock.' he exclaimed.

'You could use snow. Melt it in your hand and let the water drip onto the wires.' Kai suggested.

'No, that's a terrible idea. But I could use snow, melt it in my hand and let the water drip onto the wires!'

And then Tyson turned his plan into action.

'Now everyone, stay clear!' he yelled as the water drops caused some electric sparks to fizz.

Kai and Hilary ran away from the door and Tyson MacGyver waited until the last second to make a glamorous jump away from the door. Of course, in the very moment it exploded, because Tyson was _that_ cool.

'Oh MacGyver, you're so smart!' Hilary cried out, once again.

'What the hell is going on here?' Lord Voltaire yelled. He stood in the now empty doorframe, surrounded by smoke from the explosion, with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

'We didn't have a key, so we needed to blow up the door. It was necessary.' Tyson explained.

'But we have a doorbell! And Kai knows it.'

Kai smirked. 'I _do_ know, but I like fire!'

In the end, everything turned out fine. Kai was back home with his grandfather. Voltaire decided to respect Kai's dislike and stopped watching '_American_ _Idol'_. Instead he got infatuated with watching '_The Secret Life of the American Teenager'_. Hilary and Tyson started dating and lived happily ever after until Tyson dumped her for a prettier, less annoying girl. But that's another story, to be exploited in the next episode (chapter) of 'MacGyver –Beyblade Edition'

T.B.C.

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**Sorry for the lameness. I was in a weird mood while writing that. Please leave me a review if you actually want me to continue this.**

**By the way, the ice cream scene is taken from the 'MacGyver' intro. It's really random. Like, there's only action scenes and then there is this odd scene where he's just like: 'I'm eating my ice cream and look though while doing it, yeah! Fuck you all'**


End file.
